Letter to God: Hear me

Dear, God

Why have you burdened me with these feelings of depression and anxiety? I feel so far from you in these states and I cry out to you but I don't get a response. I sometimes think if you're even real. If I'm making up these feelings in my head. How do I know lord? The world is crazy and messed up and so am I. How can I be sure what I think and what I know is even correct? Can I ever be sure? Lord, this overthinking haunts my dreams. I pray to be relieved of it. Lord, I cry out because I need a cry out from you. You saved me from my sins Jesus. I need your peace and comfort right now and always. I can't hold these burdens upon my shoulders but I don't know how to give them to you Lord. I want to hold on to them. I want to hold on to my past. Lord, I need your help to let go of these feelings the devil brings upon me. Hear my cries Lord.

                                                           In Jesus name, Amen.

I Can't Explain it.

What do I even write...
How do I even put this into words...
I don't know how to explain it...
How do you explain this feeling to someone who has never experienced it before?
Depression...
Now that's a big word.
I'm not sad.
I'm depressed.
That topic gave me anxiety.
Oh, look another big word.
Anxiety.
Now how do I explain that?
I'm not scared.
I have anxiety.
I don't think I could explain it ever.
The urge to want to cut my wrists but I can't because I have anxiety about dying.
Not wanting to leave my bed but not wanting to have to call in sick to work because it gives me anxiety.
Depression isn't sadness. 
I think its much more than that.
Anxiety isn't fear.
I think it's much more than that.
I wish I could explain it.