Good Girl Bad Ass

Charlotte is a shy little good girl in her new school. With her nerdy appearance, no one seems to notice her. Then the bad boy of the school notices her and then shit breaks loose and she practically jumps out of her shell and acts like herself for once.



Go on my Wattpad account to read the first two chapters.
https://www.wattpad.com/user/StephanieGraceBrokop

"Are you alright?"

"Are you alright?" He asked me examining my face. 

"Do you think I'm alright? I almost lost you today! I.. I can't lose you. I can't imagine life without you! I'm terrified to lose you! That fire could have killed you! What if it did? What then? What am I suppose to do then? I don't think I can live without you... You have become the most consistent thing in my life! I can't lose you. I don't know what I would do if I lost you..." 


"You would move on. You would finish school. You would get a good paying job and you would move on." 


"Adam, I wouldn't be able to. I would want to die. I would rather it be me. I can't lose you. Holy hell if I lost you I would cry for months. I would stand on the top of buildings wanting to jump just so I could see you again. You mean more than anything to me. I can't lose you. I just can't." 

He pulls me close to him and starts to run his fingers through my hair. "You think that I could lose you? If it was you I would feel the exact same way but I would have to move on somehow." 


"You're stronger than me. You always have been. You could survive, I couldn't. I would cry myself to sleep every night. I would go back to cutting. I would never leave the house. I would become useless to society. I would die of sadness and depression. I couldn't do it. I refuse to do it."


"Samantha, you're stronger than you think you are. You're stronger than me. You could do it. But you don't have to for now. It's okay. We're both okay." 


We lay down in bed and Adam slowly falls asleep. I lay there, eyes wide open as tears fall down my cheeks. He almost died today. He almost died today. 

Goodnight... I love you

Goodnight, I love you… I didn’t get to say that so here. Goodnight and I love you. I lied I’m very tired. I need good sleep but even if I go to bed early it doesn’t do anything. But I was going to go to bed soon but you hung up on me. I just wanted to talk for a little after you were done with your friends. I wanted to hear you say goodnight and I love you. But you hung up on me. I cried when you said “but we should go to bed now” because I wanted to hear you say goodnight I love you. That’s all; I would have gone to bed after because I’m exhausted. It's not like staying up late doesn’t do anything to me. Yes, I know I say I don’t want you to go to bed, and it's true. I don’t want you to go to bed because at night you seem to open up and actually talk to me. We also have really good conversations. I am sorry I keep you up so late. But you don’t really talk to me any other time. I just wanted to hear you say “goodnight I love you baby” and I wanted to say it back. But I won't call this time. I will pretend I don’t care because it seems like you don’t. So I won't. Goodnight I love you. You will never see this… Unless you visit my blog, I bet you won't.

I called you… I said I wouldn’t but I did. Apparently, I can’t go to sleep unless I hear you say goodnight. I can but it’s hard. God… I just want to hear you say goodnight. Is that too much to ask for? I’m not going to do the exact same thing every night. I know you need sleep. You don’t need to tell me that you do. I’m not a child! I have a plan to start going to bed at 11:00 pm. You wouldn’t know this because we hardly talked yesterday or today. You were feeling really sick yesterday and I wanted to help. You were watching a movie so I left you alone. Then we didn’t talk.

I called again because I wanted to leave you a messaged. I couldn’t do it. It’s weird, right? We have only been dating for a couple of months. It feels a lot longer, but nope just about 2 months. The last time I dated someone this long was my cheating ex and we were an on and off, couple. You can probably understand my fear in how long it has lasted. Are you cheating on me too? Are you just better at hiding it? I really hope not. I trust you. I think I do at least. It’s hard for me to trust anyone and I don’t really know why. Or maybe I do. I’m not sure. It could have been my lying ex-boyfriends or my lying ex-friends or really anything. I get lied to a lot. Probably less then I think I do but still.

You know I don’t really like feelings. I don’t like any kind of feeling to be honest. I would rather not have feelings. Yes, there are good feelings but I don’t care for those either because a lot of people will see that you are happy and they won't like it because they aren’t happy. Usually, when I feel sad or mad because of something my significant other has done, I will break up with them. Or at least try to. I haven’t done that with you yet, though. You know how I say, “then you will break up with me” or things along those lines. That’s something I do because I’m terrified that you will break up with me. People say it sounds like I want you to but I don’t. Sometimes I think about breaking up with you to put you out of your misery, or to save myself from getting hurt again. I think to myself “is he worth feeling this way for?” and the truth is that you are. When I’ve asked myself about all the other guys it's always a no. They weren’t worth it. But you are. Even if you cheated on me and we broke up. I would take you back in a heartbeat. I know you couldn’t say the same but I would. I love you too much to just watch you leave.

Anyway, I’m exhausted. I need to get up at seven tomorrow to get ready for school and do all the things I need to do in the morning. So goodnight I love you. I wish I could hear you say it back to me. Goodnight my love, sleep well.

Start Again

Start Again

Raven Rose book series

Introduction

Hey, I’m Raven Rose. Well that’s what everyone calls me at least. That’s not my real name but you can call me that for now. Once Upon a time…. Haha just kidding, but a few years ago I was different. I would let people push me around and never thought about myself, which made me very depressed for about 3 years.  One day last year my friend said to me “Why surround your self with people that don’t make you happy?”. I thought about that for a long time and after I broke up with my cheating boyfriend I decided to change. So here I am with my black soul and bleeding heart.

Raven Rose

About me

About Me

Mostly all the things I love to do involve art. My music and my love for theater, my writing and reading, and my love for makeup and hair.

For as long as I can remember I have always loved music. When I was younger I was in piano. After a couple years I started focusing more on my voice and less on piano.  A few years ago I started to get back into playing piano. I now play piano and sing when I can. I take lessons on both singing and piano from a local musician Amber Bauer.  I have also been doing Acting/ Theater since I was younger. It started when I would act in school and church plays. One day my mother asked me if I would like to go into an actually theater class and I said yes and so did my sister. My sister and I went to that theater group right up until the theater director moved to Mexico. After a year or two my mother found another theater group called “V Theater Productions” and I have been in that theater group ever since.

I had troubles with reading and writing when I was younger. When I was about 13 I found this amazing book called “Twenty-Eight and a Half Wishes”. After I read that book I started to really enjoy reading. My sister introduced me to an app called “Watt pad”, where people who have an account can write and others that have an account can read their books. So I started finding books that I really enjoyed on there which made me want to write my own book. I started writing my own book called “All my life”. After I started writing that book I started realizing that I can explain my feelings well in writing. So I started to write little short stories and poems to explain how felt when I couldn’t put it in words out loud. I have started different books now after I realized my first book wasn’t the greatest. I am now working on a book series called “Raven Rose”.

When I was younger my mother would bring us to the hairdresser and at the time they had toys there. So after I got my haircut I would grab the toy monkey they had and I would comb its hair/fur and after that happened, I wanted to be a hairdresser. When I was about 13 I started to really enjoy makeup. So I started to watch tutorials on YouTube. I didn’t have a job at that time so I would get the cheapest makeup I could. After a couple of years I have grow in my makeup skills and would love to go to school for both hair and makeup. After school I would like to go to college for cosmetology, hopefully somewhere close.

So here are the most important things you need to know about me. Music and theater, writing and reading, makeup and hair.  

Raven Rose

Hello, my name is... Or it was my name. I used to be a fragile little girl who told everything, and everyone her little problems and cried over anything and everything. Don’t get me wrong; I still have a little bit of her left in me but not enough to hold me back anymore. Life had me fucked up, spun around, and upside down. Damn all the shit I did, making myself feel like I needed a mental hospital. Other's and myself put me through shit I really didn’t want to go through, for as far back as I can remember. I have become immune to shitty people with shitty attitudes. I’ve become used to being used and lied to and when I’m not being used or lied to I still feel like I am being used and lied to. So here I am, new and improved. With my black soul and bleeding heart.

Raven Rose

You’re falling asleep right now… you said we could talk and fall asleep on the phone. But you are tired and I’m not so I said goodnight and hung up. I had a bad day today. I just want to talk to you. I really wish you could be here. To hold me when I cry and make me feel better. You are really good at making me feel better. That’s one of the many reasons why I love you so much. I really miss you. I keep looking at the phone hoping you realize that I just really need you right now. I know you’re tired, and I’m sorry that I’m being selfish. I just don’t want to cry myself to sleep tonight. I just want to have a good nights sleep for once. I want to feel safe and loved. You… you make me feel safe and loved. I really want you here, or I wish that I could be there. I love you… sleep well… I’ll talk to you soon…

I’m sorry… I called you because I really need you right now. You haven’t called back… You are asleep. I shouldn’t have hung up. I just was trying to be a good girlfriend and let you sleep. I need you… I have never needed anyone. You make me feel whole. You are asleep I shouldn’t have called. But you said me talking was okay. I’m sorry I kept you up. I’m sorry I worried you today. I really didn’t mean to.