Goodbye again.

Goodbye again. I tell myself as if sleep will bring me any peace. My dreams are of him hovering over me violating my body as I am helpless. I grab the knife as if this time I will actually do it. My tears make my head hurt as I grow weary. I lay down again as my eyes drift close. Sleep will let me escape. If only I could escape. My tears start to burn my cheeks and my head throbs. The blood I bleed is not my fault. Oh, how I wish it was. I wish I would dig the knife deep into my skin and bleed and hurt somewhere else. Think about something else. Someone else. He has taken my sanity. He has taken my security. He has taken my sanctuary.  I no longer feel as if I own my own body. He took away any say that I would have over it. I did say. I said "No." I said, "I don't want to". My words meant nothing to him. As he laughed and brought me back to him. I grow weary once again. My feelings out on paper. Goodbye once again. Till the new day begins.